Performance anxiety

How do you get over the pre-wedding jitters? I am getting married in EXACTLY 2 months (I can't believe I only have 2 months left!) and I am already nervous! I am so nervous to get up in front of everyone because I am pretty reserved. I want to enjoy the wedding day and not be caught up in being anxious (and I tend to get sick to my stomach when I am very nervous) but don't know what to do! What do you guys think? -Becs

Brittany: i mean first thing you want to make sure they're the right kind of jitters. If you think of your wedding and get mildly stressed/anxious/giddy that's okay, but if you think about your wedding and you get depressed, um, this may not be the blog for you.

Sarah: Yeah, I’m pretty sure that not the kind of nervous she was talking about.

Megan: Ha! I hadn’t even though of it as being that kind of nervous!

Sarah: So, I would try to take out as many anxiety ridden moments of the day as possible. For instance, delegate lots of stuff to people you trust. Make detailed to do lists and hand them out to people that you have delegated things to. Don't worry about being a bitch, you're not being a bitch, you're just being in charge and de-stressing.

Megan: Get a massage and facial to calm down and center yourself.

Sarah: What about not waiting until you’re walking down the aisle to see your hubby for the first time?

Brittany: like a blind wedding?

Sarah: What?

Megan: What?

Brittany: What?

Sarah: um. The hell. Listen, you can set up a special place to have your beau see you for the first time once you're all beautiful and wedding dressed. You can even have the photographer take pictures of the reveal...that way it's still a special moment, but it’s a private one.

Megan: And one less thing to be nervous about.

Sarah: Exactly.

Brittany: oooohhh. Ok. Got it. I've seen where they exchange handwritten letters right before

Megan: Thats cute

Sarah: I like that. You should probably do that even if you don’t have the jitters!

Megan: Practice your vows with your husband; you've got 2 months to perfect them.

Sarah: That is probably the best advice. Practice! Rehearse!! And maybe take some anti-nausea medicine?

Brittany: I mean everyone gets jitters, just keep in mind that your wedding day is about 2 people: you and your future husband. Forget what everyone else thinks, stop worrying that your caterer will get something wrong, and stop worrying if your flower girl is going to pee herself midway down the aisle

Megan: Hey at least everyone will remember your wedding!

“My family has a lot of younger children. What are some good ways to entertain them and ensure everyone has a good time?”

Megan: My head is screaming “Craft time! Craft time!” but maybe that’s just the babysitter in me.

Sarah: Okay, so putting together a craft table would be a really cute idea. You’d have to be really careful with what kinds of crafts you get, though.
(Check out the awesome pre-made kid tables at Kate Parker Weddings)

Brittany: Yeah, because even crayons could be bad. You could use those Crayola markers that only write on special paper. I think they’re called Color Wonder.

Megan: I agree. No glitter, no glue, no crap that will end up on your wedding dress, the walls of the hall, or the tablecloths you’re renting.

Sarah: What about assigning the kids “jobs that will be fun but also entertain them and give them a sense of purpose. Maybe give them digital cameras or disposable cameras and asking them to take pictures around the reception.

Brittany: What about hiring a balloon artist? They can come pretty cheap and work off tips. You could drop $50-100 and you have kids and drunk adults entertained for hours.

Megan: I saw some really cute programs once before. The wedding was outside, so the girl had glued popsicle sticks to her programs to make them into fans, and had a puzzle on the back of the program. On the bottom of the popsicle stick, she had drilled a hole for a string that attached a golf pencil.

Sarah: You can put a wrestling pit in there and all the unruly kids can go duke it out.

Brittany: You could order kid food too, which will end up being cheaper than serving them what everyone else is eating. Some chicken nuggets, some macaroni and cheese, and maybe a hot dog and you’ll be their new favorite person. Also, if your budget is a little bigger, you could see if the hall you’re renting has a smaller room where the kids can stay with a babysitter or two, and hire a poor college student.

Megan: My vote is still for a craft table with wedding-dress appropriate crafts and kid food. And maybe if you have a 15 year old cousin or know of a poor kid in college, you could pay them to watch the table.

Sarah: I would’ve gone for a gig like that back in college.

Megan: I would did a gig like that now.

Brittany: Hint-hint, people getting married near us.

It's Just a Family Tradition

If your fiancé’s family has a tradition of passing down a dress/veil/garter/piece of jewelry that clashes with what you had in mind, how do you politely refuse it without damning your entire future relationship with your in-laws?

Brittany: I’d bring the issue up with your fiancé first, so he can back you up with whatever you decide.

Megan: The bride needs to talk to them and share her vision of what she had in mind for the big day. Maybe they can compromise.

Sarah: Okay, this question is kind of difficult for me because unless this item was absolutely hideous, I would be completely honored if my soon-to-be mother-in-law asked me to wear something with lineage.

Megan: And hey, she might be lucky not having to pay major bucks for a vintage veil that some brides would die for. That is, if that’s her style.

Brittany: But for every diamond-encrusted necklace there’s a long-sleeve wedding gown lurking around the corner. Plus, the question is how to turn things down.

Sarah: The bride should sit down and be honest with them. A lot of places would tell you to fib a little or make up excuses, but why not start things off by leveling with them?

Megan: Valid pont.

Brittany: I agree. I mean, you’re going to have to deal with these people for a long time. Or a short time, I guess, if you get a quick divorce.

Sarah: Having your fiancé back you up is important, but it also might be important to carry on a family tradition, so you may need to compromise.

Brittany: I agree with what you said before. If it’s something small like jewelry, you should probably do your damndest to make it work.

Megan: If it’s a dress you could easily get out of it by saying something like “I’m sorry, it doesn’t fit.”

Sarah: If she pushes the issue, you need to stand up to her. Give her a way to gracefully accept your decline by saying something along the lines of “I’m sorry it doesn’t fit, doesn’t go with how I’ve imagined my wedding, but thank you so much for offering. It really means a lot to me.” Maybe if the veil or dress is salvageable you could alter it to how you want it.

Brittany: Ah yes, I can see it now. The in-laws having a shit fit as you walk down the aisle in a mutilated version of their family heirloom.

Megan: Don’t forget, you could always pull the “grandkid” card. “You’ll let me cut up that veil or you’ll never see your grandchildren!”

Sarah: Also a good idea! Ladies who are already on shaky grounds with their in-laws, use the grandkid card. There’s nothing like threatening them with the unborn generation.*


*thats a joke...you know...probably...

Arrr you on board for a pirate theme?

“Is it inappropriate to do my wedding vows in pirate talk?”
-Ray, Tallahassee

Brittany: I really hate that we said we’d answer every question. I’d say go for it if your guests have a good sense of humor. Hell, you could do your vows sounding like Toucan Sam.

Sarah: Bull! Who cares what your guests think! It’s your wedding.

Brittany: Well you’ll have to dress in full pirate garb or you’ll just look like a total douchenozzle who is trying to act funny, unsuccessfully.

Megan: And you must be totally wasted on rum. The aisle could be called “the plank,” and you have to throw the ring at your bride.

Brittany: What if you did the exit procession with your bride… err wench… in a headlock?

Sarah: You should also take a few memorable scenes from Pirates of the Caribbean—the ride, not the movie.

Megan: The wedding favors could be eye patches!

Brittany: But when would “Yo Ho Yo Ho a Pirate’s Life for Me” be played?

Sarah: After the ceremony I think. And you should have Ace of Cakes do the cake like the last pirate wedding they did.

Megan: The bride should probably be barefoot and pregnant. And taking shots, because let’s face it… that baby is fucked anyway.

Brittany: Is it okay that I steal this and put it in my “Wedding for the Future that Won’t Suck” file?

Megan: No. Well, okay, yes.

Sarah: So what are we saying here? It’s totally okay to give wedding vows in pirate talk as long as you’re 100% dedicated to the theme?

Megan: Yes!

Brittany: If you’re going to try to be funny, you might as well go the whole nine yards. Or nine leagues, that is.

Sarah: Bu-dump-CHING!

Megan: Any other pirate stereotypes we need to mention?
Brittany: Could there be a Jolly Roger flag instead of a cross if it’s at a church?

Sarah: Well obviously it should take place on a dinner cruise. Or a private island.

Brittany: Yeah, I think a church wedding is pretty much out of the question if you’re basically making fun of weddings. Isle Esme anyone?